Physical pain is a warning that something is wrong with your body. Emotional pain is a also a warning...The problem is that the modern world does not know how to deal with this pain. There are 3 common cultural responses to emotional pain.

1. Deny - Side-step emotional issues, hurts and unfinished developmental tasks. This is the most effective of all coping strategies, and popular with many Christians, but denial is only ever a short term strategy and it can be extremely dangerous. A small physical pain/hurt will heal by itself with time, but what about a pain that won't go away - ignoring it is NOT a good idea, it could be an indication of something really serious possibly life-threatening. Sigmund Freud was wrong about just about everything, but the one thing he got right was this, 'Whatever we refuse to face in our inner lives has the most power over us.' Denying those parts of our inner selves that need healing is always destructive on ourselves and those around us. Because hurt people, will hurt people.
2. Detach - Some personality types can cut off their emotional pain. But this shuts down not just the pain, it cuts off all emotions - no sadness but also no love, joy, wonder or happiness. Do you really want to be Mr Spock?
3. Drugs - The most popular response, many literally bury their pain with drugs, prescribed pain meds, anti-depressants, sedatives and sleeping pills, all legal. But also weed, alcohol or illegal narcotics that will detach you completely from your emotions, drug addicts completely stunt their maturity, and some drugs can cause permanent brain damage and/or premature death. Others drug their pain with social activity, work, sex, romance, shopping, gambling, and social media or with entertainment - TV, films, video games etc, that's why they call it escapism. What are you escaping from? It is all used as a distraction from our pain and from God - think about that!

None of these are Jesus way of dealing with emotional pain. His way is to meet God in our pain. On His worst night in the garden of Gethsemane, knowing what was coming, he faced the pain intentionally, Matthew states, 'he began to be sorrowful.' What did he do about it, he went apart with just his best friends asking them to pray with him, and he prayed alone (they fell asleep, in denial). Jesus gave all his emotions, all his feelings to God in prayer, so great was the stress and anxiety of what was coming that he sweated blood.

What Jesus did is called 'lament'. God understands about pain there is a whole book in the Old Testament called Lamentations. Giving the pain to God leads to emotional regulation which the New Testament calls 'self-control', not the denial or shutting down and detaching of emotions, but rather the processing and giving of them to God in prayer. So that He can heal them and we can be emotionally healthy. Many are so hurt that they need to embrace therapy as a key part of their inner journey. Sharing our pain with others we can trust and receiving prayer is deeply healing, but can be a slow painful process.

So go apart with God, let yourself feel those emotions, name those emotions (even those you feel are sinful) and give them to God. Remember no pain is wasted if you are working with God. He will take what the enemy intends as evil and bring good out of it - that is His way. Remember he understands pain better than anyone. He conquered the ultimate pain. Jesus dealt with pain, we need to deal with our pain - his way! I pray He gives us the courage and strength to work through our emotional pain.