I said, ‘I will guard my ways that I may not sin with my tongue; I will keep a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence.’ - Psalm 39:1

The Psalmist (David) has a lot to say about the dangers of the tongue. Apparantly he had to guard himself in that particular area (me too!).

Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. - Psalm 141:3

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. - Psalm 19:14.

Just because a thought comes up doesn't mean it should come out!

A fool gives full vent to anger, but the wise quietly holds it back. - Proverbs 29:11

You say, "But I didn't really mean it. I was just sounding off!" You may not Think you meant it, but the Bible says:

For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. - Matthew 12:34(b)

What's harboured on the inside, inevitably ends up on the outside. Put yourself in the other person's place, listen to what your saying, and ask yourself how you'd respond. When you're talking to someone, in reality speaking louder is NOT going to make you any more heard, (unless they are actually hard of hearing, which is why we have hearing aids today). I stopped yelling at my kids, when I gave up spanking, because I didn't like the way it made me feel. I discovered that when I spoke so quietly that they had to listen more closely and I followed through on what I said, it had more impact than when I yelled in anger. Admittedly it was maybe not as cathatic for me as venting but it worked better and I didn't feel as guilty afterwards.

When it comes to peer conversations, acceptance doesn't come from a heightened decibel level, but from your ability to listen, understand, care, empathise, and respond with wisdom. And if none of those things work, do what Jesus did when he stood before Pilate, He said mostly nothing! (Acts 8:32) He had the power and authority to call legions of Angels to his defence and CHOSE not too! He knew what his mission was - that's strength NOT weakness.

Tips: Don't resort to swearing - it just makes you look unintelligent. Always say the 3rd thing that pops into your head -NOT the 1st or 2nd. “Act in the opposite spirit.” When you want to yell in anger, act in the opposite spirit. When you want to knock the daylights out of someone, act in the opposite spirit. When you want to use what you know against someone else, act in the opposite spirit. Hard? Yes! But Everything is possible with God.